Someone told me something that engraved a filthy mark on my soul. Question marks were floating inside my mind. But a fearful instinct was holding me back. Only one sound keep resonating “you can’t handle the truth”.
And body tired.
But arousal of morbid curiosity was hard to overcome. I was fearing I may give in and took plunge onto the heap of bitter truth, residing in someone else jurisdiction. Despite all the preventive instincts I gave in.
And some part of me won and some lost that day.
I won because my apprehensions were true. Indeed I was living in delusion. Truth was falling on my feeble soul like debris fall from a collapsed building. How can anyone can keep you like a substitute. How can someone can treat you like a guinea-pig. But it had happened now.
After plethora of awe-struck movements I recalled I have failed the test called life. Then I entered into the cave of my thoughts. The most desirable place for someone who had lost everything. It was a damage beyond repair-I know somehow.
Just around midnight I, with my scattered piece of soul, headed towards a place once called home. The traffic was scarce on the road. Wind was rushing hard, blowing my hair and flurrying my dress. As if wind was trying to take me back to the consciousness. But it failed like I failed that horrible day. A car struck me and shattered my lump of mass into pieces, whose soul was already absconded.
I died wholly.
Now being in a state of limbo I conclude,that I wasn’t life that I had lost that night, what I lost was all the possibilities, the chances, and the opportunities that might struck me later and that might better my life.
When I started my quest I was accompanied by hope, will, patience and strength. These were my possessions (at least I thought so). I was deluded that I have the right mix of ingredients to onset any journey. But the most imperative possession a man could ever have is the one most overlooked. Surrounded by sanguine vibes I didn’t know when vanity overcame me. Then with each steps I took to my ultimate destination, my possessions began to dwindle. One by one I lost all of them—which were more than a weapon for me. The evanescent patience was the first one to go and hope was the last. Their defense was lousy in front of their contenders. First doubt and then fear began to haunt me. Fear annihilated my cognition.
Time robbed me of all of my assets and in the end what left of me was a husk. There begin an intriguing journey.
I grumble. I cry. I plead.
And then I become silent. Things didn’t change and time moves on. I didn’t confront more. I only prayed. I noticed a beam of light in the dark labyrinth. I only prayed.
I no longer fear. I begin to restore myself. Somewhere along the line I realized that all my weapons were variables. They are no one’s possession. At that point I searched for the Constant. I rummaged in the dark labyrinth for light. Yes that Omniscient Light, the powerful energy that invigorates all other variables. That is neither conditional nor imperishable.
Yes this constant is Allah Almighty.
Yes, He is always with a man behind a veil yet more near to him than his heart-beat. It’s more than a possession. Relation with Him is stronger than any other relation; His Light is brighter than any light, mighty than any existing structure in the world
Encountering this epiphany, I know this is where my salvation lay. Now if I take one step out of the line and I will end up in a never-ending jumbled web. Trusting the Providence, I started to move on. My possessions were restored accompanied by a divine calmness.
Today I have reached the end of the tunnel. The Light of Allah has overshadowed all the other variables. Now what in the end I got is a lesson that’ll help me all my life, and reward that is far more jubilant.