musings

Pangs of a dud soul

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Things went wrong when I realized that my mind and body are not synced.

I was deeply exhilarated about their auspicious union as it will produce the type of results I was yearning for ages. But somehow they choose to remain apart.

“Mind is a terrible thing to waste”.
Yes these piercing words struck in my mind while my sleepless eyes were shut tight. There was a sea of thoughts encircling me slowly. Their grip was getting more profuse and impactful on my mind.I tried to escape these influxes of thoughts, as once I get trapped in their vastness turning back was impossible.

I was waiting for the lady luck to come and rescue me from this labyrinth of apathy.

This was how my life lingers on. Morning, an unwelcome thing illuminates everything except my inner self.

I fathom where things went wrong or perhaps they were wrong from the very beginning its just my dormant conscience didn’t wake up to realize this.

You moan. You curse yourself for the nihilism. Then you move out of the box and search things to put blame on.

First always comes the most loved ones. The more we love the more we expect. Your parents. No matter how old you get on in years your parents are always the number one receiver. Then you blame yourself. Its just like the vicious cycle goes on until a meek sound of consciousness muses ”its you”.

You peeked in past more often, re-live the old self of yours to discern the grey areas. Then an epiphany struck that electrifies your mind.

Your mind is shouting but the body is in invisible shackles. The urge to put an end to this apathy went more earnest and it was like you are going to burst.

But body and mind still are not sync.