“We are leaving Bahrain”
After exasperated discussions, possible rationales, recurring opinions and indifferent responses -my husband vettoed the decision of staying. Frankly I was glad that the impeding decision is made at last.
So Bags zipped and boxes sealed. After a toil of five hours everthing that we owned from this house is crammed into cartons. And here i am bidding teary eyed farewell to a place that had been my home for more than two and half years.
Humans are complex creatures and so is my relationship with the island. Topsy turvy upon the onset and a deep attachment in the end.
This wee island has been the witness of every flux in my life. I came here heavy with my first baby and now leaving with two kids in tow.
I still remembered my apprehensions when leaving the contempary urban cityscape of Dubai and moving to this remote island. And how my perspective resurfaced while moving across the serene landscape that it offers.
It amused me what my usual retort used to be whenever I was back from vacations to home country or Dubai- its strangely peaceful here.
The tranquility that prevails in the island is a riddle itself. Sitting together with friends, we always pour our opinions what make Bahrain so peaceful from the rest of gulf countries.
Speaking of friends another factor that cemented my attachment with Bahrain was the circle of friends I made with time. What makes goodbyes so terrible is indeed the elusive human connections that we leave behind.
P.S. My awful photography is not doing justice with the beauty it owns.
They are everywhere. Snapchat story, whatsApp status, twitter timeline, insta page.
The sage, philosophical and unmistakably intense stuff.
In this world where people are becoming way too intellectual, I am getting unapologetically defiant.
Everyone around me is either masquerading as Rumi or Stephen Covey. My social accounts are flooded by daily quotes which I now dont even bother to read.
People on social sites swiftly switch to Karl Marx mode from Deepak Chopra mode-ofcourse depending upon the situation.
Its literally becoming toxic.
I read something good posted by someone which is brazenly contradicting his/her persona.
They flooded everyone’s timeline with motivational stuff but in reality they sucks the last speck of motivation from them.
Everyday tons of good, deep, motivational and appeasing stuff is posted on social media. People read it, relate it and sometimes internalize it and then scroll down. There it goes down the drain.
Value the words. Embellish your conversations with beautiful words rather than your social sites.
Once in the sultry month of May
In the arms of the angel from the sky
Arrived a little bundle of joy
Seeing her delicate dainty doll
Said her mother overwhelmed as she was
“I name her my little Shanzay girl”
Amazed and excited and little bit shy
His big brother welcomed her like a goodboy
Togather they play togather they cry
Thats how the days went by
From diapers, wipes, cerelac and cuddling toys
To turning twisting and and creating noise
Everthing was like a rollar coaster ride
Amid yawning, beaming and shedding tears
Oh how quickly she turns to one year
Once again its the sultry month of May
And today is her birthday!!
What is the best thing a mother can give
Love care and lots of prayers
Wherever you go whatever you become
“You will always be my apple of the eye”.
When spirits are killed…
You taught me to hate myself.
You made me worst than a beggar – who is earnestly seeking your benevolence in every matter.
You have distanced me from my every relation and made this world an isolation for me.
You have stolen my most coveted possession and made me a living dead.
You have given me grave thoughts and unasnwered questions.
Yes you are a criminal as you killed my spirits.
When a sinner is waiting to be damned…
Sitting in the far end of a dark room, face buried beneath the burden of the sins. The only illuminance that the sinner has allowed is the thin beam of moon falling on his face, making his tears sparkle in the dark and quiet room. Now when he had done to his fullest all the questionable deeds, he still is seeking the soft place from his Master, whom he had long time before annoyed.
When love is not requited…
At last the sight of him soothes her sore eyes. she wants to scream her heart out. She wants to tell him that she has conceded her defeat and has succumbed herself to the voice of her heart. She wants to see his eyes blink with gaiety upon hearing that she was thinking about him last night. She was restless. She was oblivious that she is standing among the crowd full of people.
Every passing moment mounted her anxiety. He seems oblivious of her appearence- rather purposefully. She knows that mere a galance of him on her will seal all the seams of the previous days. But her heart rang alarms when he drifted forward just ignoring her completely. The vibe game that always worked failed her today.
These are simply the moments that happen everyday to anyone at anytime. But we move on considering that this fuss is too innocous to consider, too crappy to behold and an overly ubiquitious phenomena thus profoundly ignored.
And the days that shall seal all the seams of the obscure times-actually never come.
The nation wide ban on valentine’s day is not as ridiculous as the people protesting it. Let us not demean the ban at national level-if its implemented in the wake of useless spending that has commercialize the whole thing . To harness such the mindless binge spending then ban comes a good step indeed but let us think that way. The money that would have spent in buying a flower or a heart shape balloon is no way going to bring a smile on the face of destitute ones.
But what actually seems ludarious is the bunch of people who are protesting it. They are embarking themselves to the epitome of hypocrisy. Yes.
Holding a playcard with hacykened phrases, these men are in reality those folks who forgot to bat an eye when a woman passes by. Who objectify them, dishonour them and harrass them.
But see this is something that acceptable. They can do that but they cant see the two people sitting to gather or sharing flower or eating chocolate.
They are vehemtly displaying to celebrate Haya day instead of v-day but do they have haya in their eyes?
The irony doesnt ends here. The valentine day ban is followed in spirit by those spouses who proclaimed that its against our religion. So they restrictedly ban themselves from saying “love you”to their better halves. But it doesnt matter because its restricted to say this the other 364 days whatsoever.
Things went wrong when I realized that my mind and body are not synced.
I was deeply exhilarated about their auspicious union as it will produce the type of results I was yearning for ages. But somehow they choose to remain apart.
“Mind is a terrible thing to waste”.
Yes these piercing words struck in my mind while my sleepless eyes were shut tight. There was a sea of thoughts encircling me slowly. Their grip was getting more profuse and impactful on my mind.I tried to escape these influxes of thoughts, as once I get trapped in their vastness turning back was impossible.
I was waiting for the lady luck to come and rescue me from this labyrinth of apathy.
This was how my life lingers on. Morning, an unwelcome thing illuminates everything except my inner self.
I fathom where things went wrong or perhaps they were wrong from the very beginning its just my dormant conscience didn’t wake up to realize this.
You moan. You curse yourself for the nihilism. Then you move out of the box and search things to put blame on.
First always comes the most loved ones. The more we love the more we expect. Your parents. No matter how old you get on in years your parents are always the number one receiver. Then you blame yourself. Its just like the vicious cycle goes on until a meek sound of consciousness muses ”its you”.
You peeked in past more often, re-live the old self of yours to discern the grey areas. Then an epiphany struck that electrifies your mind.
Your mind is shouting but the body is in invisible shackles. The urge to put an end to this apathy went more earnest and it was like you are going to burst.
But body and mind still are not sync.
What follows after my humblest denial to everyone who asks this innocuous question, ”Hey! aren’t you on Facebook?” is overly stupefied faces, condescending judgments and inward mortifying retorts. Which in the end usually place me in the category of “unostentatiously plain Pakistani lass to whom the wonders of facebook haven’t reached yet because of its―mostly stereotypical―patriarchal milieu”.
Some viewed me with pity others with disgust. Some deemed it their moral obligation to inquire after my ignorance in this inordinately knowledgeable world. Others opted for a contemptuous silence as my not-being-on-facebook embark them to a quite superior social hierarchy.
But I never try to defy their false notion. I never uttered a single word to my defense. As for me, doing so is self-humiliating.
Back then circa 2008, when I was resolute in my decision to deactivate my facebook account―as an upshot of publishing humiliating caricatures of our beloved Prophet―people’s opinion was a matter of no consequence for me.
I always shied away from explaining others the rationale behind, as I never wanted to purport that I am gloating over my righteousness because I do not consider myself any better Muslim.
Yeah, it all didn’t make an iota of difference to anyone out there but atleast I called a spade a spade.
Once again the publication of satirical cartoons (under the banner of freedom of expression) by Charlie Hebdo didn’t serve its purpose as it incites rampage all around the world instead of humor. Freedom of expression (as I earlier jotted it down in my comment) has become a hackneyed phrase of the West that needs to be disposed off. If these satirical cartoons were meant to induce laughter then surely we are living in morally degenerated times, where laughing at the expense of others is the new dictum of the modern world. People love to see others dirty linen being washed in public and controversy seeking media devours on that.
Drawing the blasphemous caricatures of reverted personalities is neither intended to sprout humor nor its freedom of expression, but is another nail in the coffin of world peace. The very peace endeavored by the West under the camouflage of “war on terror”.
Ok, I’m insinuating myself a fundamentalist and a bigoted Muslim but see its all about faith.